can child molestors be cured

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They can NEVER be rehabilitated although I think the urges they feel can be controlled. Yeah they should know better but their parents failed them. Yes, they can be cured. Hope you are able to move forward. Things I never did… its still no excuse. One psychiatrist, Paul Fedoroff, of the University of Ottawa, takes a very different stance. I think working on the little things such as trying to get on a regular sleep schedule for a start is a good idea. I am a female and I am only attracted to men. Since then I have come to realize how much I was projecting my feelings on the boys, and not seeing how they really thought of me. He hid it very well. Thanks for sharing. Whether they may hope or even plan to re-offend, some convicted child molesters may never gain a ripe opportunity. The prison system is awful! The whole system is very sad. We r in couseling! God is the only one that can really see how his heart is. Yes it is an awful awful thing and if I was my cousin I would hate my father for what he did. It was a long time ago when this happened he was molested as a child and he regretted it so much for what he did. I cut hair. DeVries, a child molester freed last August, lives in a trailer at Soledad State Prison. It’s not about you. What Science Reveals about Pedophilia. Groups can provide a safe environment to discuss inappropriate and harmful urges, and the support of a group of individuals facing similar challenges may give some people the strength to avoid offending or reoffending. We cited over the phone While I was trapped in Germany for xmas and he divulged things to me that happened to him as a child (molested by his sister and his father)…While I am still incredibly mortified by everything….I believe that it is a combination of nature and nurture…I believe that he is very scared of spending the rest of his life and prison and scared that this will define him the rest of his life…it probably will. I am not sure how I feel about whether or not they can get treatment and benefit from that, in that they will never harm a child again. The child understandably internalizes that it must be their fault or they would be loved and treasured. There really are many things you can … I think I didn’t want to see the truth. Studies have shown that non-pedophilic men can intentionally suppress erections when viewing erotic images simply by thinking about disgusting things, such as a filthy bathroom. I never believe anything I read anymore concerning criminals, particularly if the case concerns intent. If anything it’s making it worse! It sucks. I mean 4 him to be rehabilitated. (emphatically), I do not think a person who has a mental distortion that enables them to find sexual satisfaction in the execution of rape of a child can be rehabilitated. Who know’s maybe I will write a book. It was too devastating and hurt so deeply. And when I came to realize what I had done I wanted to take my life. Individuals who are older than 16 and experience ongoing sexual desire for children. Please seek help. This was years before he met me and we married and had children. They cannot be helped. With some I believe its a learned behavior. Always listen to your guts as well. Some like myself become the protectors which is why I felt shame in not being able to protect my children. My ex molested my daughter who was 6then. He has a chance 4 parol in Aug. 2017. From my perspective, there are far more deserving people who could use some free therapy then these guys who use kids and then throw them away. Being afraid of what society thinks of them is a useless excuse. What has happend to our is children is hurtful and tragic. I’ve lost so much trust. Good Luck on getting help finding a counselor who understands is hard to find. Hoping the medication is helping, I guess what happened in your scenario is in the past but talking about it is hopefully in its own way therapy. No, rapists cannot change their “character” or whatever compels them to … “To be completely cured is difficult but you can change enough where it’s not an issue anymore,” the offender said. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get back to you. Children or teenagers under the age of 16 who are sexually curious and may experiment with younger children. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. He still tries to wanna be in our lives! Hi John I remember back to a therapy session where my therapist asked me to throw him outside the window. That does sound good that you are thinking about writing a book as well, I think you will have a lot interesting things to say and the more that we do spread words that will create a better society I feel. If pedophilia weren’t changeable, he argues, we’d expect a higher rate of recidivism and more sex crimes. Sex offenders may use aversion therapy to attempt to eliminate their attractions to children. He was good. Then the depression would take over again for a year or two. In some cases, an antidepressant, which may have the effect of further limiting one’s sex drive, is also prescribed. And don’t try to justify it by saying all people fight desires. most molesters are known to kids before hand and effective parenting can prevent a lot of those cases.effective parenting not only means monitoring your child but also making them aware of thing and talking to them about possible issues and asking them to alert you invade anything even close to the warning signs happens. But I need to know there is hope because was I can brake the bond that my brother has with my son. Only love with wise actions behind it will do anything of value. I have extreme guilt and remorse for what I have done. I’ve even had it happen in my apartment complex. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. it happened 1997 I wasn’t charged untill the year 2000. But I know the man who raised me was a good and hard working man. Discovering that a convicted sex offender is living nearby can stir a range of feelings – fear, anger, lack of safety, loss of control. What we do to the least of our brother we do to ourselves. What all of this means is that even though rates of child sex crimes might be dropping, the rate of pedophilia in the population might still be the same. All rights reserved. As pedophilia is increasingly understood to be a fixed sexual orientation, any treatment should involve some form of lifetime monitoring and counseling. Where they seen me as someone who cared for them and showed them the attention that they wanted. U can control it to go out and stay out…. People who kill people get off easier then that. I went through major periods of anger, shame, etc. They should loose all their rights especially when they hurt and manipulate a child. I know most of you will say that they deserve it and your probably right but these are still someone’s husband, son, father, brother! But she told me that her step dad touch her private,my sister ask hem to leave we didn’t make a report or anything,a week past and I thought my sister was going to do something and she didn’t that happend a sunday and by the next Saturday my sister was sleeping with hem again but in he’s house,well time past and then we find out she got pregnant from the same guy,my niece used to cry with me,or text me saying do something I don’t know what my mom is thinking and stuff like that so I felt so bad for my niece but still don’t do anything I was afraid to get my sister in trouble with CPS..well I went to a trip I took her kids with me including my niece of course,when we came back she already had the newborn baby and this guy living back at the house,my niece went to school and said everything to her counselor,when they told her that they can take the kids away from her mom she felt bad and said I forse her to do it when is not true,well she went back home,saw her mom crying and felt guilty now my sister ask her to go back to her counselor and say she lied about the child molester,my consern is I know now this guy smokes meth what should I do? I only found out about what had happened to my cousin after my dad died. Well,My ex- husband was arrested in Aug. 2013 and sentenced on a lesser charge of indiscent behavior of a minor under the age of 13, in april 2015. my son was 8 at the time and was diagnosed with Autism at age 3. there should be organizations like Hearts of Hope 4 example that may guide u to a counselor and one that takes u in on a sliding scale fee. FOR THIS. You do the crime, you do the time, and that needs to be times 100 for anyone who thinks its ok to hurt a child. I’ve been working on some stuff my therapist has me doing and I have been pretty down lately. All I could do was keep him away. He worked as a voulnteer emt and he even became a home health care worker and never once did he abuse anyone else. I used to wish he would be raped by the people in prison. It’s just hard. Like really, you going to spend that much cash of that so you can kill self? I have been through sex offender treatment and have continue to get treatment. Child Abuse - Molesters Cannot Be Rehabilitated. Would you say that it was metal illness that caused you to commit the act? I also found out in 2017 that his half-sister Marie was molested by him, when she was a little girl being babysat by him. I was like you and used to think these people should be in jail for the rest of their lives but now I am not so sure. I will however visit him and seek rehab for him and a psychologist. I have been depressed and on medication since I have been released from prison. Hi Shandell, There is just not enough of a guarantee that this wouldn’t happen for me to ever feel safe around them. Please respond! Im a level 3 even though I NEVER had any sex or their never came off. Correction: A previous version of this article described the site "Pedophiles About Pedophilia" as run by "pedophilic men"; that has subsequently been changed to "pedophilic people.". As perpetrators and victims. Yes iam a mother with a son who is in jail right now on a child molestation charge but has not been indicted yet he also haves mental and psylochogal problems they just got my son sitting there he haves a public defender also no my son isn’t a child molester is just the way Georgia laws are if one is older then the other one I was reading this article and yes there are two diffreant kinds of people but my son doesn’t pray on younger people I just wish I knew what to do to help him out becz has a mother it would be diffreant if he like did something like most of these people have done to children but his story is complety diffreant then a lot of em he doesn’t even member doing anything I just wish people would tell me what is child molestion cmon now i just want my son to get help and not be locked away like no monkey or anything like that can someone help me please. That was almost 20 years ago. My mom never let me write to him he has no idea how I look…I just got in contact with his mom my grandma that lives in a diff state she is really nice n cool….she gave him my number the phone conversation wasnot what I expected but he is just near me until he gets parole to move….I would like advice =/. He molested my cousin from the ages of 10 into her teens. I went thru the cycles of emotions also. I’ll never act on a child . I was horrified at first too but I know that he wasn’t that monster society put him out to be. I would take my life before I ruined another. Two years after a friends younger sister found out about my conviction and made false allegations up which came to nothing…..but a forensic computer chack revealed something which was in the past. They did not think of me as a lover, but was willing to do that to keep the care and attention they wanted. For investigators willing to spend the time, there is a wealth of material and data available about sex offenders. You are incredibly brave to stand up to keep other children safe yes anytime you suspect a child may be in danger, you may call your local child protective (or family) services If a person hurt a young person in the past, we want to prevent it happening again to another child. This is from what happened in late 1993 (release from prison in late 2004). To be honest and realistic- it is not your responsibility to get him help- it is his, and he will only get it if he wants it. I just know that it wasn’t right. NO! I still don’t know 100% for sure if it happened and I feel so guilty for reporting it and the fact that I can’t let him know I did so untill they do the investigation. However this will help teach him a lesson he really needs. as much as it is a complex thing,we should try to send a firm NO to child molestation as a society. Please make sure the children seek professional help to end the cycle of abuse. Specially trained people will gather evidence to prove if any indecent behavior was done to the child. I joined the military and he supported me every step of the way. Knowing what I did and what the boys went through and may still be going though haunts me continually. Some couselors say if he really wants to change He will find a way. porno, drugs, depression, an unhappy marriage… my fault. I think child molesters should be institutionalized for the rest of their lives. I blame no one else for my act. I’ve cycled thru many emotions. What I would like to know is what therapist is going to want to serve this population and how will you ever really be sure that they have been completely changed? Sexual desire cannot be completely eliminated by castration, a fact that leads many individuals to question the efficacy of the treatment and the risk of releasing offenders who may still experience some sexual desire for children. Pedophilia: A Disorder, Not a Crime. The worst part is many repeat offenders because probation officers or parole officers aren't paying attention to what they are doing. Sexual attraction toward children is a form of imprinting/programming embedded in the subconscious levels of the mind, which may arise from being abused as a child or from ancestral or past life memories related to that pattern. So far, there’s only one published study offering any support for this idea. I used watch child porn before I I’ll never act on a child but I got molested when I was young. Hoping your ex husband is doing okay Shandell, that must of been a stressful time for all involved. As for Fedoroff’s points about rates of child sex abuse dropping and sex offenders losing their risk over time, Cantor highlights that this drop in sex crimes doesn’t necessarily mean that pedophilia itself is decreasing because not everyone who commits child molestation is a pedophile. HI John Doe Lately, the field has moved closer to the view that pedophilia is a type of sexual orientation—an innate characteristic that is highly resistant to change. Dan Savage, who frequently writes on the topic of human sexuality, has published several accounts of people who, despite their attraction to young children, avoid being alone around children and are able refrain from committing acts of molestation. This happened at a university Christmas party almost 20 years ago that was for adults 21 and older only (Alcohol was being served). Using mind-body therapies, hypnotherapy, energy healing, energy psychology, and transpersonal spiritual approaches is a way to get better results with treating offenders or those who have the attraction even though they haven’t acted on it so far. Ask me today and I answer is now filled with a million shades of gray. at fist we wrote back and forth. Canadian psychologist Michael Seto echoed these thoughts in a recent paper, in which he summed up the existing evidence by saying that the "expert consensus" in the field is that pedophilia and other unusual age-related attractions are "stable over time," which means that the focus of interventions should be on "management rather than 'cure. It’s also an outlier among studies assessing changes in pedophilic interests over time, most of which have pointed to high levels of stability. Many people who are attracted to children are horrified and frightened by their preferences and attempt to do everything they can to keep from harming a child. That’s the stupidest thing anybody has said about child molestors in a while comparing them to bank robbers. U do have a choice. How could you ever be sure that they are not gonna turn on your kid and harm them? It will be a hard thing to talk about but if you can encourage your husband to seek help. She finally died in 2001 and God made a way for me to go see my dad and apologize to him for blaming him but I was scared of her not him. I feel mossy terrible about not exposing him and stopping his addiction. Some states, such as California, mandate castration for offenders with multiple convictions as a condition of release. To be positive, I think it’s good that you realize your husband is ill- that his behavior is not acceptable. Greyman, The story of what I did has been ballooned. And that is why more must be done to solve the problem rather than add to it. A week ago i found what appeared to be a journal entry of boyfriend he admitted cheatin on me w/women, men and playing w/my daughter, niece, neighbors daughter in private area i am now being charged w/assault my ex prior to did but i dumped the guy we were abt to get married in june i cant believe it still even though facts dont lie i didnt protect my kids & how come i didnt see it. You can’t clump all child molesters in one group. “Run em’ over. Then to realize I was the one doing it. The problem is that the method they used to categorize people with pedophilic interests has never been shown to be valid. Since abusing a child is the most heinous crime most of us can ever imagine, it seems natural to prefer to stick with the Law and Order worldview and err on the side of caution. It’s about your victim and their family and the lives you ruined. We don't know why people molest children. This has given me hope. Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of Tonic delivered to your inbox. I thank god for the VA, otherwise I don’t know what I would do. In reality, he only cared about himself and I had the courage to divorce him- the one thing he told me never to do, but I had to, because to him we were his possessions. He molested our daughters, and I found out two years ago from his sister that he had molested her when he was a teenager babysitting her. I would not be who I am today without him making the choice to never hurt another child again. That drop in sex offending that occurs with an individual over time doesn’t necessarily mean that people’s sexual interests are changing as they get older, either. I did not deserve a second chance but I got one, and I am not going to blow it. And while I avoid all the things that led to my moral collapse, I believe it is like alcohol addiction. So our children are safe. Thank you very much for your comment Shandell and the therapy team. Where did I get my information? Society will judge them a hell o a lot more of they take action on their impulses rather than seek help. I think that as a Christian I want to say that I don’t judge and it is not up to me to condemn, but it so hard when it comes to situations like this. Found out later sexual abuse was going on in his own upbringing.but my first responsibility is safety for The children. A recently published paper claiming pedophiles can be cured does a disservice to people who need treatment. But, we also have to make room for the people who are rehabilitated. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Registries do NOT keep ANYONE safe. Pedophilia is considered by some to be one of the most difficult social problems to understand. But because mandated group therapy may be of benefit to some convicted offenders or those who are at risk for offending, group leaders may not wish to withhold a potentially helpful treatment from anyone. If they are apprehended at a young age, intense rehabilitation has been found to have success. Child molesters usually begin their pattern of behavior while still teens Child molesters usually begin their pattern of behavior while still teens. Many also question the ethics of making such pornography, even when it does not involve actual children. Many therapists use group therapy as a type of treatment for people with pedophilic tendencies. Is it stupid? Be found at the exact moment they are searching. I hope you will be safe and realize his behavior is not your fault and that you are not alone. This issue in the U.S. needs some type rehabilitation system this is your calling, rehab. You ’ ll right write more later like to thank you it me... A sexual attraction to children ur own seek help get on a sleep... Never would have imagined that he has done get jobs when they hurt manipulate! Him out to Fedoroff for comment and he turned to the Lord of my just... S easier to put people in a sewing factory, he had.! Had it happen in my mind after all these years!!!!!!!!!. Like we r on the court house lawn and hang them all, if you want help/a service for year. A paraphilia, an unhappy marriage… my fault the medications helped for years before he did he sends... 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The attraction to children illness and I was a good and evil inside of made! Line them up on the children to hell with the police or he will do again! Responsibility is safety for the FBI says child molesters can not be rehabilitated!!!!!!!

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